


Let the Fire Die Down Soon

by HappyDagger



Category: Asoiaf - Fandom, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Bondage, Control, Dehumanization, Disassociation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Forced Affection, Forced Bonding, Human Pet, Humiliation, M/M, Manipulation, Modern AU, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reek with all his bits and pieces
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-19 14:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2391275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappyDagger/pseuds/HappyDagger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After he snaps, Reek finds he has seized upon a seemingly perfect opportunity to run away. Ramsay calls him. All Reek has do is not answer.</p><p>This work was influenced by Your Own Personal Bully by nanjcsy, which I adore. This story would take place in a similar au, about ten years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I put my trust in you.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Your Own Personal Bully](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1995774) by [nanjcsy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanjcsy/pseuds/nanjcsy). 



All he has to do is not answer.

Ramsay's biting sarcastic smile, penetrating ice blue eyes wait silently on Reek's phone. Waiting to be answered. Waiting to deliver that poisonous voice, the voice that hurts, soothes, thrills Reek, playing him; Ramsay's instrument. It's so unfair. Ramsay shouldn't be in his mind; shouldn't be pulling him from the distance growing between them. 

For the last few years he had learned to read Ramsay and respond so well that Ramsay had made a home in his head. He wasn't Theon anymore, and he was never alone. His wants were only seen through the lens of Ramsay's needs and desires. 

But this sacrifice came with it's reward. Reek wasn't tip-toeing through broken glass around his Master, like he was back when this all began. He had learned how to deal with Ramsay, even through his abject submission. He knew how and when to make Ramsay laugh, feel victorious, feel needed, feel feared, even how and when to make Ramsay feel loved. 

And Reek does love Ramsay in some way. It was better than the constant waking nightmare Reek was born into, but every time he loved Ramsay just a little more, the wall he held fast to as his only remaining protection cracked in fresh places. 

This morning Ramsay finally surprised him, after so many years. He had been fighting with his father again. Roose must have said something about Ramsay's ignoble birth because he stopped yelling and pacing the room at once. He looked down at his phone in a silence that rang in Reek's ears like panicked sirens. Slowly putting the phone down on the table beside him with his back to Reek Ramsay camly commanded, "Come here."

Reek had hurried to his side, but before he could even finish asking, "Yes, Ma-" Ramsay swung around and punched with his full force him right in the jaw, knocking Reek to the floor. Reek didn't understand what had happened. He only saw a flash of blind hate on his Master's face then he was on the ground.

It didn't even hurt at first, he was so shocked. Ramsay then half-heartedly over turned a coffee table with dishes from breakfast still on it and in a strangely defeated voice yelled at Reek to "clean this shit up" before he got back from work. Reek watched him walk out the door from where he'd fallen on the floor.

Only when the door slammed shut and he heard the finality of the outside deadbolt clicking into place, did Reek try to understand what happened. He slowly rolled onto his back as stinging tears blurred his vision.

It's not fair.

It isn't fair. He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything wrong.

The one thing, the only thing he ever begged of Ramsay was not to hit him in the jaw. When Theon had been broken and Reek made for Ramsay, Ramsay had hit Theon's face quite a lot. Reek's jaw would sometimes come out of place, even getting stuck. It would click when he ate sometimes, and when he was very anxious it would tense and cause terrible headaches. Reek was still beaten for a game, for punishments, to remember his place, but Ramsay had never _punished_ him for something he _didn't do._ He never punched Reek in the face anymore, he said he wouldn't. 

He promised, one early morning when they were driving home from visiting Ramsay's mother, that he would never punch Reek in the jaw again. 

Ramsay was so soft around his wide-eyed, skittish little mother. Reek was so good that day. Made her see what a nice boy Ramsay was, how proud she should be of her loving son. On the drive home the bass and lilting voice of quiet music hummed comfortingly with the roaring road below. Reek stared out the window watching a world closed off to him drift by. Ramsay spoke warmly to his pet. The passing streetlights made his icy eyes flash and he they looked right to the bottom of Reek's being when he made his promise with such devoted sincerity. Reek snuggled against his Master's shoulder and accepted his caresses without flinching.

By the time Ramsay came home that day, the mess was cleared and forgotten, but in Reek's mind the broken promise burrowed and festered.


	2. Like a Crippled Plaything

Ramsay plays Reek. 

Makes him dance beautifully. Now cower, now beg, now come to me, now leave me and wait anxiously, now cry for me, now scream, now smile for me, now run. Even Ramsay could not dream his pet would be so lovely. Waiting to meet every wish, learning every day. Now he seemed to know his Master's needs before Ramsay did. Ramsay finally had someone just for him, to give everything only to him. He caught this lost puppy and gave him a home, though Ramsay never had a home until he had Reek either. Not really...

Reek reads Ramsay.

In his old life, long ago, the bad unwanted boy called Theon was constantly overwhelmed by people, feeling what they felt. His father's anger, cold heart, his suffering under the disease slowly eating his life away. His sister's disappointment in Theon, her ambition, her hollow starving need for their father's approval.

Theon used to please women so well because he could read what they desired and loved giving it to them. Somehow, even making them come for him, he still never felt in control. They would still pet him like a doll, kiss him on the cheek and leave in the morning. Was he always meant to be a throw away play-thing? For his father's abuse, his sister's controlling pushes, for the boys sadism, for his friends' laughs, for girls to enjoy and leave for real men? 

When Ramsay came and took him away, no one came to get Theon. No one really cared, they were all done with him. Sometimes at school, at work, or even while shopping, the bad throw-away boy would become overwhelmed by the feelings of people around him. So many people he understood and had compassion for, but could not help or even really touch. Now all he has is Ramsay. He put all his energy into reading his Master and had come to decode every lifted eyebrow, tensed shoulder, curled up corner of the mouth, change of breath.

Ramsay does not read Reek.

Ramsay can tell when Reek is lying, afraid, turned on, or when his mind and fled his body to float somewhere beyond. Still, as good as he was at seeing these carnal reactions, more complicated emotions and their causes seemed somehow beyond Ramsay's understanding. Or was it that he didn't care? Ramsay was sure Reek loved him long before he actually did; how could he be so sharp and cold and yet so seemingly delusional? He couldn't be, he wasn't weak, he just didn't care. It's all another game.

Reek does not play Ramsay.

When Ramsay came home from work that day he was happily humming to himself. The house was clean. Reek was quiet. 

Ramsay had starting closing on a major acquisition for his father's company. Sometimes Reek would come to meetings, ostensibly as Ramsay's PA. Quietly listening and watching, unnoticed his pet had a gift seeing weakness in people, and Ramsay had the gift of exploiting those weaknesses. Ramsay's father was even forced to admit he was winning a great prize. 

All Ramsay's thought's were on his next moves. He was flying on a great rush of drive and victory when he threw his things about and changed. He yelled at Reek to get in the car wait for him.

He didn't even notice that Reek didn't answer.

Ramsay jumped into the car wearing more comfortable clothes. "Drive me to grocery- no, take me to the liquor store first. We're having a party this weekend," Ramsay said, typing quickly into his phone. 

"Yes, Master."

"You almost ran that red light. Don't hit the gas so hard. There's no point in stop-and-go traffic; you're just wasting gas which means you're wasting my money."

"Sorry, Sir."

"Wait in the car and don't talk to anybody." Ramsay said, when they pulled in the parking lot. 

"Yes, Sir."

"Did you eat today?" he asked, finally looking up.

"No, Sir." _My jaw hurts too much._

"You need to eat every day, can't you do that even do that, little boy? Do I have start calling you from work to check on you again? I don't have the time to come home for lunch right now; you're not going to distract me with your moping are you?"

"No, Sir. I'm sorry, Master."

"Don't you start being dramatic, Reek, that's how you get in trouble. Keep the car running and keep the doors locked." 

"Yes, Master," Theon replied as he kept staring straight ahead. Ramsay got out of the car and slammed the door. Before he even got inside the building he was on the phone with someone laughing and talking excitedly.

It wasn't fair. He doesn't even care. He didn't say anything, he just ordered Reek around and rushed about like nothing happened. Reek's whole life revolved around Ramsay, and Ramsay doesn't even care about him. He broke his promise and for what? Something Roose said? Something that Reek couldn't control! It wasn't fair; it was absurd! It was all so absurd, actually, his entire life. A ridiculous joke he couldn't help but laugh at. 

So he did start laughing, out loud, in fact. He couldn't stop himself. He laughed and laughed until he was watching himself, and what was even funnier is he had put the car in reverse and was pulling out of the parking lot. He was going to leave Ramsay and just drive away! How insane! Just thinking of serious, monstrous Ramsay shoving through the store's doors barking and laughing into his phone; and then the look on his face when he didn't see the car there... unbelievable.

This was so easy. Just leaving! It's too hilarious! Why didn't he do this before? What a moron, when he could have just left all these years! Buildings and people crept by. He had to keep stopping every few minutes and he would laugh even harder. At the fourth stop light however, the joke suddenly seemed to run away. What was it running from? Then he felt it; the looming panic creeping up his spine. Oh no. As soon as he realized terror was coming, he felt like he had been hit again. Across the face- he woke up, in the stomach- he gasped. 

"What have I done?" Oh no! This wasn't happening. This could not really be happening. He couldn't breathe, so he rolled the windows down. All the mundane noises around him just grounded him in reality further. A humid wave whipped past his neck and he had to accept he wasn't dreaming. 

Reek was blocks away from Ramsay now, how could he make it back in time? What could possibly he say? What was he going to do? What was he going to do?


	3. Gotta Find a Way, a Better Way

Traffic started moving again, and soon Reek was flying down the highway, trying to think.

***

Ramsay had taught him how to see through the fog of panic; how to come back into his body and steer it again. It was Reek's hardest lesson since learning he was Ramsay's pet. Ramsay would get mad at Reek for running away in his mind, so he very patiently taught Reek lesson by agonizing lesson how to come back. Day after day Ramsay would begin by triggering a panic attack, Reek bound so he couldn't run or fight while he lost control. So kind of Master to protect him from himself. Then, once he started loosing all control to the screaming white terror burning every cell in his body, his Master's voice would sweetly beckon him back. From so far away, it cut through the torrid sea engulfing Reek. How he wanted drown sometimes. He could almost see the darkness below waiting for him to sink and sleep forever.

"Come here, my good boy. Come back to Master, pet. Concentrate on something tangible. Feel my fingers tracing your palm? Look at me. Good, good boy. You're doing so well for Master. Tell me, where are you?"

"I don't ..." Reek nearly screamed through a dry, tight, throat.

"Breathe in, SLOWLY, good one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, now out SLOWER, good boy, there you are! You're safe. Master has you. Now what is your name?"

***

Reek relaxed his grip on the wheel. He concentrated on the blue bumper sticker on the truck in front of him. Breathed, slowly, counted to seven. "CHOOSE LIFE" it read, the corners were peeling off. White in the fresh tears, brown and black in the old. A bubble in the center almost looked like it would burst. He started to come back to himself, but his mind was still racing. How long had it been? How much time did he have before Ramsay walked out and saw he was gone?

No, he had to focus. He had no money and couldn't stay in this car for long. Ramsay wouldn't hesitate to report it stolen, and such a rich man who's father gives so generously to the local police wouldn't want have to wait long to get his car back. If Ramsay was anyone else, he could call the police. He remembered seeing stories on the news of women escaping years of abuse and the media no longer put their faces all over the screen, or even used their names. The coverage seemed more solemn and compassionate that it had years before. It seemed like the victims got help in peaceful obscurity, beyond the public's eye or judgment. But that could never be for Reek. Not when the hated and powerful oil and gas tycoon and his heir were involved. He could only imagine the conservative talk shows Roose liked to listen to frothing at the mouth condemning Reek as a whore, a sicko, a liar, a lunatic who needed to be grateful for the Bolton's loving care. 

Everyone would know he was bad. Bad bad bad. He's being so bad. _He is a bad boy, he has to go back and beg for forgiveness!_

No, he had to think. He's not a boy, he's a man, he can do this; he has to. Reek could find a library, he could use their computer to look up shelters for victims of domestic abuse, he was too old for a lgbt youth shelter, at least the one he'd ran to when his father threw him out. Ramsay would look there right away, anyhow. Maybe he could leave the car somewhere with the keys inside, in a parking a few blocks from the library. Ramsay has another set of keys, at least he would know Reek wasn't stealing... "YOU ARE STEALING MY PROPERTY. YOU ARE STEALING MY PET," he could hear Ramsay rage and he started to whimper. 

"Get out of my head!" he yelled out loud. An older woman in the car beside him turned and stared. "I need to find a bus. I'll go to the library, find a shelter and then find a bus, a bus that can take me there." But where could he get money? Not enough time to beg, and that would cause too much attention. The sun was just starting to set. Maybe he could just take the donation jar at the library; he could always mail them the money later. Even better! There was a fountain at a park he used to go to when he ran away as a child! The bottom was covered in quarters! Stealing them wouldn't really hurt anyone! Maybe he can do this one step at a time? He was shaking so hard he could barely turn the wheel, but he did it. Maybe this is a new start-

The opening notes of the Commendentore Scene from Don Giovanni struck at Reek sending him flying back in the pits of horror. He forgot about his phone! Why did Ramsay have to pick that terrible song as his ringtone? Every note made Reek shrivel more, cowering into himself. _He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows!_

All he has to do is not answer.

Ramsay's biting sarcastic smile, penetrating ice blue eyes wait silently on Reek's phone. Waiting to be answered.


	4. Spine is Just a String

_Just don't answer._

It was Theon. Reek thought he was dead. 

_Throw the phone out the window, get money from the fountain. Drive and drive until you have a quarter tank of gas. Then walk until you find a bus stop. Take it as far away as you can go. Everything else can be figured out later._

Every note the phone sang tore at him, until he felt he was going mad. Ramsay's cold blue eyes, waiting, commanding. He could not disobey. _Just tell him goodbye, then. Tell him that you're sorry and you do love him, but you can't do this anymore. Tell him you'll leave the car and phone for him and you'll text him the location before you go. He can't hurt you, he's far away. Or just throw the phone out the window, please._

"Master?" he answered before he could decide.

"Reek? Where are you? What happened?!" He sounded more distressed than angry.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I love you, I just- I started laughing, and then I was driving, and I woke up and I don't know what to do- I did my breathing-"

"DID SOMEONE HURT YOU?"

"No, no, Sir."

"Did someone scare you?"

"No, Sir. It was me- I was _bad_ -" he clapped his hand over his mouth, but it was too late. Big sobbs he could no longer hold back shook his frame.

"Pull over. Now." Ramsay's voice was calm and strong. 

Reek's shaking stopped and he answered without thinking, "Yes, Master." He was able to pull over into a fast-food restaurant's parking lot. He could hear people talking and giggling behind him. Somewhere next to him a woman was yelling in a raspy voice and a child was crying. He wasn't shaking anymore, but he still felt lost, so little, so cold. He rested his head on the driver seat's shoulder.

"Good. Take the keys out of the ignition." 

"Yes, Master." Reek said, nearly whispering. He put the keys on the passenger's seat. Tears started rolling down his cheeks again. He was so tired, so scared and overwhelmed. Maybe he did want to go home.

 _No, you have to fight! This is your only chance! He'll take away your license, he'll never let you drive again, he probably won't let you leave his house again! You won't be allowed to touch the floor for weeks until you forget what it feels like to walk and beg not to moved around like a doll anymore. He'll break you, he'll hurt you, he'll do everything you hate and fear to punish you. He'll break your ankle again. YOU HAVE TO RUN NOW OR HE'LL KILL ME._

Reek's voice cracked. "I wasn't stealing the car, I swear. I'll leave the phone and car for you-"

"DON'T YOU TAKE THIS PHONE OUT OF YOUR HAND. DON'T EVEN LESSEN YOUR GRIP UNTIL I TAKE IT FROM YOU MYSELF. You think I give a FUCK about the goddamn car? Don't you know I could buy 10 more like it today, if I wanted to?"

"Yes, Master, of course. Please tell me what to do. I don't know what's happening..."

"You frightened yourself, didn't you pet?" Ramsay asked, his voice softening. "You lost control and now you're stuck out there alone in the world trying to make your own decisions. How is it? How have you enjoyed your taste of freedom?"

"I haven't!" Reek cried, sobbing harder now. "I don't know what to do! I want to go home but I'm so afraid... I'm all alone, I don't know what to do..." he tried to beg for forgiveness but words wouldn't come. He wasn't going anywhere. He already lost the game. Nausea overtook him and he started to dry heave out the window. 

"Roll up the windows and lock the doors."

"Yes, Sir." he gasped, sitting up. He curled up in his seat and tried to hide his head between his knees. In a high-pitched whine he cried, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'll do whatever you say."

"Good boy," Ramsay said, "I'll fix everything for my lost little puppy. Listen to my voice. You hear only me now, you think only what I am saying to you until you I get my hands on you. I'll tell you everything that going to happen. I'm coming to get you. When I find you, I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to take you home. I'm going to punish you, but I'm going to let you earn my forgiveness."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Master." He meant it. He chance for a separate life was gone; maybe never existed. He couldn't choose and plan for himself anymore, he couldn't cut Ramsay out of his head... he didn't even want to. Only now that he was on his own, could really understand what he had become; a part of something else. Something his Master had made for them. He remembered something Ramsay told him one night.

***

"Reek, are you awake?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Look at me, I want to talk to you."

Reek rolled over and found his Master's icy eyes nearly shining in the moonlight peeking through the blinds. "Yes, Master?"

Ramsay stared piercingly at his pet and gently put his hand on Reek's cheek. "Do you know that you were made for me?"

"Yes, Master. I know you made me the way you wanted. You are my mother, my father, my lover and my god now. My life and all of me is yours." Reek whispered, as he had so many times before.

"That's right, my lovely boy, but before I even found you, I think we were meant to be together. All of this was meant to happen. I was always looking for you, did you know that? I will always look for you every instant you aren't in my sight. You know why everyone leaves you? Why no one else really loves you? Because my mark is all over you. It has been ever since you were born. Everyone you've ever known has felt, and every person you will ever meet will forever will feel that you are mine to love and keep. Mine alone."

Reek was crying silently, staring into Ramsay's eyes. He didn't know if he was happy or sad. He seemed to be something else, something new. A feeling of peace, for the first time he could remember. Ramsay kept staring into his eyes and petting him, until Reek couldn't stand it and rushed into his Master's arms.

***

"Wake up. Now," Ramsay growled through the phone, and there was a knock on the window. " _open the door_."


	5. You Better Stop the Things That You Do

"Master?"

Reek slowly sat up and began to reach for the handle. There was Ramsay's face, cold and horrible living flesh looking down on him. There was a shadow behind him, features obscured by the headlights at their back. Hot needles fluttered up his spine, down his shaking arms, over his skull and on his tongue. His jaw clenched and the whole side of his head began to throb, but still his hand crept forward towards the handle. Time, in it's cruel indifference, would not stop for him. 

The handle was pulled. The thing was done.

Ramsay threw open the door and rushed upon little Reek like a tidal wave. His hands flew to Reek's neck. Forehead to forehead, eye to eye, the weight of Ramsay all over him, Reek tried to call out, but had no air to make a sound. Ramsay kissed him roughly; watched his eyes roll back.

"Ramsay!" a low voice called. It was muffled like when Ramsay called from the deck of his pool while Reek drifted underwater. _Maybe we can drown now. Let's go to sleep, Reek. We're so tired._ As quickly as the tsunami had crashed his quaking shores, it pulled back and took Reek with it. Outside of the car Ramsay released his grip, but didn't move his hands. 

Reek gasped, and coughed. His vision was blurry, things were becoming unreal again. Ramsay's slid his cheek past Reeks until his breath was hitting Reek's neck in a fast and hot rhythm.

"Pull your pants down, turn around as fast as you fucking can." he whispered hoarsely in Reeks ear and bit it roughly. 

Reek cried out in anguish, but felt relief at last.

"Ramsay! Not here. Take him home and do what you will, _there are people around you_." the voice said sternly, getting closer. 

"He has to know, he has to understand-" Ramsay said, under his quick and shaking breath. He flipped Reek over in a single motion and bent him over the seat. Before he could react, Reeks wrists were in one hand, and Ramsay's mouth was on the back of his neck, biting down. Reek wailed in pain. With his other hand Ramsay started pulling down the back of Reek's pants. He was growling like an animal, as his teeth slowly cutting into flesh.

"Ramsay! Stop, I said!" he was pulled back after what seemed like an eternity. Reek recognized the low voice now; the only person who could talk to Ramsay like that unharmed. "I know you're upset, but you really must calm yourself. He's here; he stopped and waited for you as you told him to." Reek slowly turned and slid to the ground, curling into a ball. He gingerly touched the back of his neck and found blood there. "Look, he's perfectly under control, why are you so upset? Why are you shivering like this, Ramsay? What's wrong with you? Stop being so dramatic, that's when you get yourself into trouble! He only went, maybe three miles from you!"

Three miles?! Impossible! Reek meekly peeked. He realized he knew exactly where he was. He didn't get anywhere! Ramsay was more unhinged than he had been when Theon had run away for days! It didn't make sense! Before he could help himself, Reek began to find the whole thing terribly funny again. This time Theon was saying something from far away... some kind of warning, but the hilarity of everything poured over him, and in a terrifying, blissful way- none of it mattered at all.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Ramsay said, still standing close enough that his leg was touching his pet. He tried to straighten his hair and clothing. He was frowning and seemed to shiver still; as though he was in the throes of a terrible fever.

"You were right to call me. One of your better decisions. You could have made a real scene here. Come on now, enough theatrics. Let's get him in the back. Are you able to drive home? He has the keys for you in there, does he... what... what- is he doing?"

Reek was shaking now, silently at first, but then the laughter came. He looked up almost sweetly at his Master, as though Ramsay would join in. When he stared at the Boltons, however, they looked ... unnerved, instead of amused. Reek never knew he could do that! Did he really cause this look of concern on those two monsters? He started laughing much harder. It was all ridiculous! They were just people, he was just a person, what a stupid game they play! 

"My god, son. You finally broke him. What fresh Hell did you find for you're devoted lover that you haven't already put him through several times before, I wonder?" Roose mused, shaking his head. 

"I'M FINE I SAID!" Ramsay roared. He grabbed Reek and threw him in the back seat, then slammed the door so hard it bounced back instead of catching. He kicked it shut and kept kicking until his father pulled him by his shirt collar. 

"Enough. Get yourself together and take him home. Oh, and don't kill him, Ramsay. You'll be so upset if you do, you won't be of any use to me."

"YES, FATHER! THANK YOU, that's quite enough help- goodnight." Ramsay said between gritted teeth. He got in the car without turning to look at Roose, slammed the door and drove away.

As the boys pulled out of the parking lot, Roose realized something; it was pretty funny. He smiled as he walked back to his car.


	6. I'm Coming to Find You, If It Takes Me All Night

His father's words are burning in his ears, Reek is laughing like a lunatic, this asshole is driving too slow in front of him; it all gives Ramsay a headache. He lays into the horn and swerves around so he can race home. He'll feel better when they're home and Reek is locked safely inside again. What the fuck happened? 

Was he _trying_ to make Ramsay kill him? 

Fine, he hit the dog, so what? He thinks he's too good to be hit in his pretty face anymore? Fuck him! He'd show Reek who he belongs to! He better take whatever Ramsay gives and thank him for it, spoiled bitch! But Ramsay had that bad feeling again; what the hell was happening to him? Stupid fucking dog, causing all this chaos for Ramsay- all these unnecessary problems. 

So he promised not to hit his jaw; well? So fucking what?! Reek promised not to run away, so now they're just FINE AND FUCKING EVEN, "AND WILL YOU STOP THAT GODDAMNED LAUGHING!" Ramsay screamed, slamming on the brakes.

The car skidded and slid before screeching to a halt. Reek flew against the back of Ramsay's chair and collapsed silently. "NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!" and Ramsay pounded the dashboard until it dipped and cracked. Half the console lights went out. Ramsay took a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. "This was going to be a great day, a great week..." his voice trailed off. Reek didn't move or speak. 

Why didn't he sit him up, and buckle him in? He was too angry to think, that's why; because Reek was bad THAT'S WHY. "That's fine," Ramsay said to the silence behind him. He started driving home again on the empty street. "I'll just put you back in your place, that's all. I've been too good to you, you're spoiled now. That's no challenge for me; I fixed you before." 

No answer. No movement. 

_I was going to make it up to you, you little idiot._.

***

Was Reek dreaming, or remembering? Was his life flashing before his eyes? Is he in purgatory now? There he was, a boy, must have been 17. Pulling at his shirt collar, looking around like a cornered animal. Where was this? The interview; the first time Theon ran away. He thinks he's going to make it. He thinks it's all over. Reek fades to the background, watching. Theon paces.

Every noise sounds like the monster's step. Every passing shadow bears his frame in the corner of Theon's eye, but each time he snaps his head 'round to see; it's someone else. 

The music store was fairly busy. People rushed about, bumped into him, talked loudly to each other. A man and woman were fighting in the isle next to him. A young boy was whining about something. An older woman was all alone, calling meekly to employees to help her find the VHS tape her husband used to like, but no one helped or even listened. A man yelled at, what appeared to be, his girlfriend's toddler to "shut up". It wasn't fair. Doesn't everyone see? Don't they see all this suffering? And he's going to work here? In a place like this? It's a poor neighborhood in a nowhere city where Theon belongs; despite his the wealth he was born into. He was torn out of that world a long time ago and didn't miss it; despite all the monster put him through. 

Suddenly could feel it, as if summoned; the monster right behind him.

Theon slowly turned around, so scared to look. It can't be! _He would never follow me here, he couldn't find me._ Still, he knew it, before he even saw. It took all his strength not to cry out, but he couldn't stop himself from stumbling back.

"Hello, pet." Ramsay was smiling brightly. He talked calmly and cheerfully like an old friend.

"Wha-" his voice got tighter- his throat was closing! "How-how-ha!" Theon couldn't finish, he couldn't breathe! He was dying! His chest was tight, his heart was aching, he must be dying! A heart attack! He could HEAR his heart bursting! He going to collapse or die screaming right here, right now!

"Shhhh. Don't make a scene, or the game will be all over." Ramsay took a step back. He was glowing with excitement. "How funny you look dressed like that. It's like you think you're a man. Are you going to wear those clothes tomorrow night, when I come to get you? Do that for me. I want to cut them off of you. I got a new knife to celebrate your coming home."

"No, no, no-no-no-no," Theon cried in a near-whisper, clutching his chest.

"I have lots of new presents for you. I was so bored while you were running around; I went shopping. I thought you'd be more entertaining. Try harder today? Will you try hard for me? Make it worth my time, maybe I won't be so hard on you when we go home. I even helped you out, you'll see." He stepped closer and leaned in biting his lip, " _Stop boring me_. Oh, look, it's Melanie; the woman interviewing you. You don't want to be late... for that job you'll never have." He laughed and his eyes danced like flames. He waved goodbye slowly, and walked out smiling, with his hands in his pockets.

As soon as Ramsay was out of sight, Theon ran to the nearest garbage can and threw up. When he finished, he rested his sweaty forehead on the rim. 

Melanie's white sandals and painted toes stepped into view on the floor. She sighed and said, "I think you should go home now."

***

"Reek, Reek."

Reek opened his eyes. "Master?"

"We're home."


	7. Are You Sure What Side of the Glass You Are On?

Bumping step by step against his Master's strong, warm chest, the world slowly came back to Reek in pieces.

The pain came back first. His neck burning, his jaw throbbing dully, his neck, ribs, and temple aching. He must have been knocked out... did Master black out in a rage? What happened? What time is it?

So tired, he rested his head on Master's chest. Reek has learned to enjoy moments. The past can be shed like dead skin, the future keeps oaths for no one. Right now strong arms are holding him; if not out of love- it doesn't matter. He has love for Ramsay, it's his to own. Maybe that's all he has left besides fear.

"You're not sleeping are you?"

"No, Sir." his voice barely works. Don't worry about what happened or what's coming, the bedroom is several steps away still...

"Good. Don't. There is a long night ahead of us."

Ramsay laid Reek on the bed gently and starting taking his clothes off. He didn't look happy about it... he was slowly seething. Reek was too afraid to ask questions, he just submitted in silence, begging with eyes. 

Ramsay was unbuttoning Reek's pants when he asked bitterly, "Well? Was it worth it?"

"What, Sir? I'm sorry, please, I don't remember anything." Oh no, he must have done something bad.

"How convenient for you." Ramsay growled through gritted teeth. He pulled Reek's jeans and boxers off his feet so roughly the pet was thrown up in the air a few inches. He noticed Reek whine and tenderly grab his side when when bumped against the mattress. Reek struggled not to groan and roll. "Aw, did you hurt your little ribs? YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HIT YOU THERE? Tell me, my little Prince," Ramsay crawled onto top of his little prey as Reek tried to shrivel away. "what am _I_ allowed to do with you? Tell me all about the rules _you've_ made." He grabbed Reek's horror-stricken face with one hand. "LOOK. AT. ME."

"I don't make rules! I don't tell you anything! Reek is just a pet, please, Ramsay is the Master!" 

Ramsay let go and solemnly got off the bed. He knelt and pulled something out from underneath. "I know how to help you remember. I have something for that in here," he said pulling his keys out of his pocket. He found the smallest one.

"Wait, please! I remember this morning-"

Ramsay leapt up, keys still in his hand, "OH YES? Tell me, tell me _everything_!" he started coming towards Reek, very slowly, fists clenched. 

"I- I woke up, I scratched your back where you like, to wake you. I massaged your shoulders and hands, because you had such a long meeting the day before. I started your shower and set out clothes for you. I made breakfast for you-"

"Oh!" A sadistic smile finally appeared on his face. "What a good boy! How did we ever end up here then?" he yelled, motioning around the room. Reeked whined, and his eyes got teary. "Continue. Hurry up so we can begin." Ramsay went back to unlocking the "toy chest." He looked disgusted with Reek, it was terrible!

"You got a call, it made you very angry."

"Yes."

"And then you told-" Reek froze. Everything came back at all once. A flood of images and feelings; all too awful to be real. "No... no... oh, no! OH NO!" He clasped his hand to his gaping mouth. He remembered everything. 

"Yes?"

"I was bad," he said finally, nearly choking on his sobs. "I'm sorry! Please! So sorry."

Ramsay sighed and grimly opened the box. "I'll fix it, pet. I'll fix everything. Let me tell you now, tell you what's going to happen while you remember why. No more driving, ever. You're going to cut your license and throw it away. If you're very good, _maybe_ you can leave the house next winter. You're going to throw away all your shoes, tonight. You don't pick your clothes anymore. I'm locking them away, you wear what I say you may. No floor for a month. You stay exactly and only where I put you until I move you again. You need to remember how much you need me. No more speaking unless spoken to." 

Ramsay came back towards Reek with his collar in hand. Reek grabbed his head, gritting his teeth and moaning. "The bathroom door is coming off. No hiding from me, ever again. The deadbolt is going back outside the bedroom door. You forgot who you are," he pointed right at Reek's face. "You forgot who you belong to."

Reek screamed despite himself. "I didn't! Please! I just snapped, but I listened! Yes, Master? I listened! I did everything you said! I'm sorry I broke, I'm sorry! I didn't want to be bad!" Reek started rocking himself. He wouldn't dare let his mind leave now, he had no defense.

"You broke? You broke? _I BROKE YOU_ ; is THAT what you mean?!" Ramsay grabbed both ends of the collar and jumped on Reek. He started to choke the crying pet with the leather collar, but after a few moments, was able to restrain himself. He grabbed coughing, gagging Reek by his hair and pulled him up, then bent his head down to make Reek yield his neck but stopped seeing the swollen bloody bite. "FUCKING-" he threw the collar across the room and punched the wall just an inch from Reeks head. "Ow! My fucking fist! Do you see what you've done? I have to treat your stupid wound... you know what? Fuck you. I don't care, I don't care what I did to you. I do what I want to you, don't you understand that? I don't have to keep promises to a dog! You're mine, you're my plaything! You can't make me angry like this! What if I killed you? I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU IN THAT CAR! What if you landed the wrong way? YOU DIDN'T PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON!" 

Ramsay was completely unhinged. Reek had stopped crying, he just stared and Ramsay couldn't tell what his stupid face was doing.

"You little idiot. You'd be dead without me, you know that? You think you take care of me because you make my breakfast and do my laundry, and petty shit like that? _I took you in_! I found you! I saved you! You are MINE! IF YOU DIED TONIGHT OVER SOMETHING I SAID YEARS AGO _WHAT WOULD I DO? TELL ME!_ WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?!" 

"Master, please, don't" Reek said gently.

"DON'T WHAT?" Ramsay yelled back, full of vitriol. 

"Don't cry."

"What?" Ramsay sat up feeling dazed and tired. 

"Please, I'll do anything, anything, please. I love you I'm so sorry." He dared to caress Master's face. No fear could stop him. Ramsay's pain was unbearable. He looked just like a little boy- but as a child when did Ramsay ever wear that face? Reek hugged his Master tightly and cried on his chest. 

"It's alright." Ramsay softly said at last. He ran his finger's through Reek's hair. "I told you; I'll fix everything."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you. _Thank you for coming for me_." Reek whispered against his chest. 

Ramsay felt much better now. Things clicked into place. "I'm always looking for you pet, you stupid boy. I saw you leave. I tracked your phone. It's a free app, I downloaded when I bought you the thing." He came back to life feeling at once more sadistic and playful. He felt back _in control_ of everything. He pushed Reek back down on the bed and turned out the light beside them. "You know that robot I talk to in the car, you little idiot? That magic robot voice can tell me where you are too, my foolish pet. It can stop the engine and lock the doors, didn't you think of that? I gave you a chance to make things a little better for yourself. Wasn't that nice?"

"Yes, Sir. Thank-" Reek gasped as Ramsay entered him. 

"I had Father bring me to you so I wouldn't... in case there was a problem. Remember when bad Theon ran away? I've made you scream, and cry, and beg, now, when I tell you to, you will come for me and show me that I own all of you. Your body, your mind, your soul, your life are all for me, forever."

"Yes, yes Master. Please, please, yes..."


	8. It Must Be Fate, I Found a Place For Us

"Reek, are you still with me?"

"Yes, Sir." Barely. He was still in pain, but at last his jaw had relaxed, his neck was just tender, his ribs still pained him with every breath and he was breathing so deeply now. Still, he was submerged in the warmth and totality of Ramsay's love again. Reek hadn't been thrown away, he never would be. 

"You can't go to sleep, just in case. I'll have father send a doctor tomorrow so you can get a tetanus shot and maybe some antibiotics. You like shots, little boy?" Reek whined. Ramsay climbed on top of Reek flipped him on his back. He grabbed and pinned the thin wrists to the mattress, then playfully nudged and rubbed Reek's neck and cheek with his nose. "You think the doctor will let me do it? I can be so clumsy... it might take me a few tries. _Maybe the needle will get stuck._ Time for the rubbing alcohol!" Ramsay sprung off the bed and went to the bathroom. 

There was too much to feel, but Reek felt calm. He vaguely remembered a poem comparing the tears of children to dew on a blade of grass; swept cleanly away in slightest breeze, leaving no trace of having been there. _You're the 'little boy',_ Reek thought with the slightest smile on his lips _you'll never grow up, I'll always be taking care of you._ If this was any other night, he would have liked to tease Ramsay a little and be put back in his place. Sadly, this was not a normal night, and it was far from over.

Ramsay came back, barely illuminated by the streetlights outside. He icy eyes were dancing flames again. They must have an inner glow, Reek always saw them in any light. Ramsay put the bottle and gauze on the nightstand and stooped to pull somethings out of the toy box.

"Why- what are you doing? I thought you forgave me..." Reek pleaded.

"Of course I do, my dearest plaything. We still have some work to do, and I did not ask you to speak. On your stomach, hands above you." Ramsay seemed almost giddy. "You know, it's alright, really, " he said standing up with an armful of toys Reek could not make out in the darkness. Reek couldn't tell if this was a game or not, but slowly did what he was told. "This needed to happen. This is the next step; it's exciting! A new project, things are going to be so good afterwards we'll be bored!" he laughed happily, "I'll have to come up with some new games to keep us entertained!" he keep laughing as he climbed back on Reek and chained cuffs first to the headboard.

Reek whimpered. What was Master doing? Both hands were chained to the bed and Ramsay was sitting on the small of his back. Ramsay applied the alcohol to the wound on the back of Reek's neck. He loved Reek groaning and squirming under him, he loved his teeth marks on his neck. He wondered if it would leave a beautiful scar? The very thought was intoxicating. His finger slowly traced the side of Reek's pretty neck and the pet arched his back. Ramsay had everything he wanted right under him, bending so sweetly to his will.

After he had cleaned and bandaged the wound, he started playing with Reek's lovely mess of hair. "Pet, isn't there something you need to tell me?" he asked so lovingly he was practically cooing. 

Panic can ripping back up Reek's spine. _He knows! How does he know?! How could I forget?_ "Yes, Master," Reek squeaked.

"Well? Don't you want to tell me now? You weren't allowed to speak without being spoken to, so you aren't in trouble. Doesn't your kind Master think of everything to protect you from yourself?"

"Yes, yes! Thank you! Thank you for your mercy. You're strong and I'm weak, you're wise and I'm-"

"Say it. I'm ready to begin." Ramsay's tone was more serious now, but miraculously lacked anger. He cuffed Reek's ankles to the footboard making sure the chain was the length he wanted.

"I-I" Reek started to cry again, "I heard him. He talked to me today... when I was, when I was being bad-"

"Shhhh. Good boy, that's enough. Didn't I tell you Master will fix everything? I'm not mad at you, silly puppy. I'm going to make everything better." Ramsay leaned in over trembling Reek, kissed his wet cheek and whispered, "It's time. You're ready. _We're going to kill that bad Theon_."


	9. Hold a Little Tighter I Might Just Slip Away

"Don't cry," Ramsay said gently as he could, but there was playful mocking in his tone. Ramsay slowly pulled Reek by the forehead up to his own chest. Reek's neck was bent so far backwards he had to open his mouth all the way. Ramsay carefully inserted soft plastic. Reek only whimpered. Ramsay lowered Reeks head then wrapped and pinned the extra gauze to cover his mouth. 

"See? It's not a ball gag. It's just your mouth guard. I don't want to hurt your- you. You're wondering why you're bound like this if we aren't playing, and I'm not mad. It's only to protect you. You're going to try to say angry things to me that could make me very mad. You might even try to hit me, shush, don't waste energy denying it; it's ok. I'm going to push you there. You don't have to fight your feelings, do you understand? That's why you're bound like this; I don't want you to control yourself like my good pet always does for me. Show me if you understand. Good. You don't know what I'm doing to you, yet you let me make you utterly vulnerable. You know the blades, and weapons that wait in the toy chest underneath you, but you didn't fight, or even beg, did you? No, because I didn't give you permission, and you know better. Such a good, obedient pet for Master. Look, little Reek, my hands are empty. Your flesh will not suffer anymore tonight."

Reek sighed and began to feel slow, warm ecstasy relax him. He melted whenever Ramsay talked to him this way, even when he knew pain would follow. It doesn't matter. Reek can live in his these moments and struggle through the rest.

"Mmmm, you love when I praise you now, don't you precious one? You live for my love now, don't you? It makes me so happy," Ramsay said as he delicately turned Reek on his back. The chains at his hands and feet twisted. His hands and feet crossed so he couldn't move his limbs at all. Ramsay sat on his stomach, his thick muscular legs put a little pressure on either side of Reek's chest. "Even now you don't protest, you just look at me with those begging eyes I can hardly stand to look at. Your pretty puppy eyes started the first beat of my heart, I think." Ramsay took a deep breath, never taking his light of his eyes off of Reek's. 

" _Aren't you so happy to bend to my will?_ " He purred leaning all the way down to Reek's attentive ear. " _Aren't you my sweet little pet, Theon_?"

Reek tried to jump but couldn't move at all. What trick was this? He tried to protest with his eyes and frantic smothered pleas. He tried to yell and struggle; no he would never use that name! He wasn't being bad, this was a mistake!

"But you are. You are my little devoted Theon, my pet, my love." Ramsay stroked his messy hair. "I'm taking that separate you away now. I want _all of you_ , You're ready now. Theon is mine, he always has been. You've always been my Reek, ever since the day you were born. What your lunatic mother or alcoholic father put on a piece of paper is just word from people who never loved you or mattered. I'm Theon's only father, I'm Theon's only mother, I'm Theon's only god, and only lover."

Reek felt an internal pain and anger he'd never felt before. He struggled and screamed. He tried to thrash and bite, but it was all useless. He hated Ramsay. He didn't even understand why, he just felt it the same way he felt Ramsay's weight holding him down. _I hate you! I hate you! You stole my life!_ But Theon suddenly sunk back weeping, it was all a lie; all a terrible lie. It was so terrible to be exposed without this lie he lived in, which he wore like skin. He needs this other, older self that never gave in, that always fought, or he has nothing left that Ramsay didn't make. Ripping off the lie he forgot was even there exposed nothing but nerves and even the cool air burned like fire.

Theon screamed like a dying animal.

"Shhh," Ramsay wiped tears off his face. "I know it hurts. You're doing well. Before long, it will all be over. I'll hold you and comfort you and give you a nice bath." He unwavering voice was soft with pity.

_Don't you fucking touch me! I hate you! I will never love you... I never did... I don't even know what that means anymore!_

"You're looking at me like you hate me. But you don't. It's just a lie I let you hold on to because you weren't strong enough-

Theon almost bucked Ramsay off of stomach for a moment, but it was all so hopeless, the beast hardly noticed. "Theon _is_ Reek." Ramsay sternly, but patiently continued. "Reek _is_ Theon. _You are mine_ , and Reek is what we call you because that's sound I gave you to answer to; and what is between us is the only thing that matters."

Theon roared in agony and fell into sobbing. _I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!! YOU STOLE MY LIFE! IT WAS SHIT BUT IT'S MINE, MY ONLY LIFE! THE ONLY ONE I'LL EVER HAVE, AND YOU TOOK IT FROM ME AND MADE ME YOURS! YOU MADE ME LIVE IN FEAR and then you made me love you, that's worst of all._ Theon collapsed, exhausted beyond his every capacity. _It's not fair. Why was I born like this? So much weaker than you... why was I born just to be swallowed up by your terrible will? I hide my pain and anger away and you couldn't let me have even that._ Reek was crying so hard, he couldn't resist when Ramsay started gently kissing him; up his chest to his face. 

"Let me help you. I'll make it easier for you. LISTEN TO ME. Good. Theon Greyjoy, you can die now. I called you by your name, now you can die with honor, drowning in my love. You fought me, you won. Stop fighting now, and sink away to the darkness below."

That's all Theon needed. Someway out; a path away from the monster. He could NOT be what he HAD become. _Yes, yes. We'll call it drowning then. Thank you,_ he said with his eyes, _thank you for letting me go._

Ramsay spoke loudly now, every phrase pushing Theon further into a sweet nothingness, "I love you, I own you. You're mine. You're my good pet, my most precious little boy. You've made me so proud. You've given me a home." Ramsay laid his head on Reek's chest for a moment and whispered hoarsely, "You're everything to me." He unchained Reek's feet. Reek lay limply, floating away in Ramsay's inescapable love. 

Maybe Theon was sinking to his resting place, maybe that was all a game. When Reek came for Ramsay, he was one person again.


End file.
